Tuesday, September 9, 2014

happy birthday mom

 I remember my mothers first birthday after her death. I was 7 months pregnant. I went to the salon and had my hair done. I went shopping. I took Cameron to the park and cleaned the apartment. I did anything to avoid feeling that agonizing pain. I'm certain at some point I cried, but I cried so much that first year after she was gone that it all melted together. That birthday, and several birthdays after, I didnt want to talk about it. It still stung.

And today, it stings.

Today, like every birthday, I sit and smell her bottle of favorite perfume and look at her picture. For glimpse of seconds I can remember perfectly her smile, laugh, the way the walked, her hair. But those glimpse are becoming short, harder to reach, fewer and far in between.

But today I can hear her laugh, and that's enough for now.

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