Thursday, September 19, 2013

I have changed.


      “It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
     Erma Bombeck

  I was just thinking today how much I have changed over the past say... 3 years. I'm not sure if it because I am maturing and aging, or if its because I have children who are getting older, or because I'm advancing in my healthcare career working with women. Maybe its just a combination of all. I think being a mother really tops the list, but working with other families and seeing different lifestyles and parenting styles has definitly opened my eyes to the dynamics of life and the world.
  I have changed in in ways such as: 
  • Im much less judgmental of others. I have in the past had a hard time accepting peoples views and beliefs that were not similar to my own. Being judgmental can really take a toll on your psyche. 
  • Im less envious of others. I believe that when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Now i'm certainly not saying I got handed a bunch of lemons, but there are a few obstacles that I have had to overcome without support. Being self supportive from the age of 16 (me and my husband both) it can be easy to look at how much others have, and look over how much you yourself really does have.
  • Im more patient.
  •  More responsible financially.
  • Thinking more about my long term future. 
  • Exploring and challenging my creativity levels. 
  I have discovered, what I believe to be my true passion. I love OB healthcare, and not just the process. Not just the cute little babies and the wonderful families I meet. There is SO much more to it. There is supporting and showing love to the teenage girl who has been abused. The family who has had in the past traumatic birth experiences. The family who has endured the great pain of losing a baby. Watching that family come back with a rainbow baby. The woman that I just hold because she needs a shoulder to just cry on because she is sleep deprived and needs reassurance that she is doing a good job. Showing the mother on methadone compassion and understanding , who truly does care for her baby, but also has an addiction problem. The code 2's (emergency c-sections), holding your breath in hope while adrenaline is flowing through your veins like a raging river to help the team get the baby out. Hearing that baby take a breath and cry. Crying the whole way home because you know you have helped saved a life, if not two. Giving hope, and receiving hope.Thats just a touch on why I'm so in love with this field of healthcare.
Here is a song I LOVE by Tyler Stenson. You really should youtube this song and listen to it yourself!

I heard you say that you wish I stayed
An older version of me -- long before my change.
But, if we're not growing we are staying the same,
So I will welcome the change and stretch myself day to day.
We're entitled to change because we grow

Like blown up balloons.
Like the flare at the end of a spoon.
Like one note becoming a tune.
Like the city lights in the darkening blue--
The change is gonna happen real slow
But not a day goes by we don't grow.

If a seed can grow into a tree
And if that tree can grow leaves,
I ask, how is that different than me?
Because we both breathe and we come from the dirt
And that's where we will return
When both of our seasons fade.
We're entitled to change because we grow

Like one into two.
Like the eleventh hour turning to noon,
Then May slow fades into June,
Then you're a grownup in your childhood room--
The change is gonna happen real slow
But not a day goes by we don't grow.

If we're not growing, we are staying the same
So, I will welcome the change and stretch myself day to day.
We're entitled to change because we grow

Like a high tide caused by that moon.
Like a flower knowing Spring is coming soon.
Like wings inside a cocoon,
(Or anything else that is destine to bloom)--
Like our faith in the things we know to be true
Or like the courage found in the wine and the booze--
The change is gonna happen real slow
But not a day goes by we don't grow. 

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