School too soon

Less then month until I'm back into full time nursing school for my 2nd semester. As much as I have tried to savor the bliss of summer, it is going by much too quickly. But then again, I do want to hurry up and get this thing called nursing school behind me and start my new career as a labor and delivery RN. Yes, I'm certain that's where I want to be. The first round of clinicals is OB so that's one exciting thing about going back to school.
  Cameron starts kindergarten Sept 3rd and its very much hard to believe. Here it goes, the school years that won't end for a very long time. As it gets closer, I wonder if I have prepared Cameron enough for school. He can count to 100, knows how to spell his name (we are still working on writing it) and of course knows his colors, shapes, all the basics for say. Its not fair how fast time goes, from diapers to potty training and now off to school. I guess maybe every mother second guesses herself sometimes. Hoping she has not messed up this parent thing. But I can't help but sit here watching him play with stranger children, making new friends, laughing and sweating from running and playing at the tree house, and running to me crying when he fell and bumped his head that I must be doing something right. I know for sure I have taught him love, trust, sharing, forgivness, and nourished his imagination. I guess the rest will come with time and maybe someday I will think I did an awesome job.
  This next month, I want to spend as much "summer time" with the boys as possible . I have tried to attempt not to overbook my self with photography, but I'm sure a squeezed in a few sessions I probably shouldnt have. From here on out, free time will consist of lakes, sprinklers, popsicles, and sunblock.

Colt is here!

 Two days ago, some of my best friends had their second baby! While its still fresh in my mind I wanted to blog about it.
 July 19th I worked a 12 hour shift, picked up the boys, went home and took a shower. At about 9pm, I looked at my phone to set my alarm to wake up in the AM, and my phone was hot. Thats because it had been blowing up (on silent) for over an hour. After reading the message from Liz " Sarah we are at hospital, 6cm" my heart sank to the floor. First of all, it had been almost an hour since that text had been sent. In my head I said to myself there is no way she had not delivered yet. So I called Jarad to see. He told me that she was still 6cm and she was about to get an epidural and she really wanted me there. And I really wanted to be there! One problem: Tony was out of town and baby sitter had plans. But thankfully I have some pretty awesome friends Sophia and Eric who took the boys at a minutes notice. I dropped the boys off about 9:30, Cameron was awake, but Dominic was zonked out.

 I got to the hospital at about 9:45. When I walked in, Dr. M was checking Liz and she was 9.5 CM. She had JUST got her epidural, but from what I could tell, she was still much painful. I ran up to her and hugged her and told her not be scared, Colton has chosen this date himself and she and him were ready to do this. She was 3 weeks away from her due date.

I was excited that her RN was my friend Beth. The atmosphere in that room was just magical with love and humor. Liz and Jarad are always in high spirits, and well as DR. M, Beth, Liz's mother. Everyone was so happy and excited.

Liz started pushing at around 10pm.

She pushed maybe through 3 or 4 contractions (like a rock star, might I add). She knew exactly what to do, and that epidural did not slow her down at all.

 Colton entered this world at 10:10 pm, with a big cry. He pinked right up and was able to stay on Liz's chest skin to skin for over an hour.

I'm so excited to watch Colt grow as I have Lauren. The Shannons are truly a wonderful family.

Our day with baby Evan

   We get very excited when Evan comes over. So far I have got to baby sat him twice since my sis went back to work. Dominic dotes him so lovingly that I can very much imagine him being a great big brother one day. He loves to feed him, and never lets his paci leave his mouth. Once it pops put, Dominic if there to pop it back in (usually upside down lol).

  Not having a newborn around for 2.5 years, I totally forgot how often newbies need to eat. I swear the adorable little chunker was complaining for his bottle at least every two hours. And a chucker he is indeed! I love it! After having two scrawny babies, i needed some squishy thighs in my life.

  But I have to say, having 3 little ones is busy busy busy! Its a reality check into why we need to wait another year (or two or three) before we have more babes. My life right now is very much filled with the love I have for my two boys and my sweet nephew Evan, who is so much growing a little personality himself.

6 years

Today, we have been married 6 years!
To keep it short and simple....
My favorite thing about my husband- his determination to succeed and his awesome daddy skills! Also he is the hottest hunka-hunka there is!

His favorite thing about me in his own words - " Your determination for when you get something in your head."

Lol, ok ill take that. Love you baby.

Day 4 in Alabama, and flying home

  Right now, I'm some 30,000 miles up above the clouds. I have now realized that flying makes me an anxious individual! I don't like it at all! Now the recent plane crash in California yesterday doesny help the fact at all. But I only have about am hour left of the flight the its home sweet home to my boys and pups.
  I'm so glad, and thankful I was able to fly down here and see Maureen.As of yesterday she is talking! We held small conversations yesterday, and she was smiling and giggles a little bit.  She is now 100% off the vent. I'm so grateful she is getting better. I can't wait to come down here again with the boys and stay at the lake.

Day 3 in Alabama

Right now as I type, I am itching my face off. This is so bizarre!  I'm wondering if its the cat, or "big dog" because he has long hair. Anyways, I have never taken so much bendryl in my life but it seems to work. I just don't like how it makes me tired.
  Yesterday Maureen was wide awake when we arrived. She had been off her sedation medication (propofol) for almost 24 hours and doing good. Everyone, her doctor, nurses, and now our family are very optimistic. Her nurse said they are expecting her to move out of ICU within two weeks, as long as there are not set backs of course. We stayed about 2 hours because she needed a nap. We will be going back today soon.
  This is also 4 days that I have not seen my babies. The longest that I have gone without seeing Dominic. From report from Tony, they are doing good and enjoyed their 4th of July. I can't wait to squeeze them tomorrow!

 

Here are a few pictures from UAB. It is an amazing hospital and I wish I would have thought to snap a few more photos when I took a walk over to the women and children's hospital (it was AH-MAZ-ING).

 The food court had fresh sushi everyday!

Day 2 in Alabma

  When we arrived at UAB yesterday, Maureen was wide awake. She had had a break earlier in the day from her sedation medication, and from the vent doing any work for her, which is only holding a small amount of pressure in her lungs, not actually breathing for her. Her eyes looked better, she was making eye contact, and responding to every question with a nod. She even laughed a few time (silently of course, due to her trach). Her blood pressure started to get elevated, probably from us getting her excited and stimulation. Right before we left they were giving her some blood pressure medication.
   Shift change is from 6-8 both morning and night, so we left about 6:05 and headed back to Tina's. We had dinner, I had to take more benedryl, then fell asleep. Today we are going back to UAB and very excited to hear how her night with no sedation went.

 

And here is to lots of this...hospital coffee!

Day 1 in Alabama

Yesterday my dad and I flew into Birmingham to visit with my aunt who is in ICU at UAB.
  We decided to drive to Ann arbor, then park there and catch a charter bus to the airport. That way we didn't have to have someone take us so early, and didn't have to pay for parking at the airport. We left my house a little late and caught the bus just in the nic of time at 6:30am.
  Our plane was scheduled to leave at 840 so we had about an hour and 40 minutes once we got to the airport for all the checking and security. My favorite face lotion, face wash, and tooth paste all got confiscated during a bag check. I didn't pack anything but a carry-on, and totally forgot about the 3.4oz liquid rule. So we had to make a stop at Walmart last night so I could re-buy my stuff again, this time travel size.

  I have not flown on an airplane since Cameron was a baby, and I was so preoccupied with him them that I was able to set aside my own anxieties of flying to a point. Yesterday it was just me and my dad and I forgot how nerve-wrecking it can be. The worst part is taking off, at least for me. But I survived with minimum panic and before I knew it we were landing in Birmingham.
                                                  

  My Aunt Tina picked us up and took right to UAB. When we got up to the 9th floor where ICU is, we were greeted by my grandma and my great aunt Loretta. We went to see my Aunt Maureen right away. When we walked in, she was having a physical therapy session with the care team. We gowned upband put gloves on and went to her bedside. She looked at us, but with no expression. She tried to say hi but nothing came out due to her trach. She was still on sedation medication with a PCA for pain control.
  We stayed at the hospital for about 5 hours. After lunch, we took a stroll around UAB, and they were hosting a blood drive. I have never given blood. Not because I didn't want too, I just never had a convenient time I could do so. So that's what I did. It just seemed right.

It was not as bad as I thought it was going to be, and the staff was very nice. The nurse asked me if I was visiting from Europe, because he said I sounded English. I thought that was super funny because when your in the south, it feels like everyone around you talks with a heavy accent, when in return they think you do!

 

  After giving blood, I collected a bag of cookies and a red cross t-shirt and was on my way. We went back up to the 9th floor again, where we met my aunt Tina. Maureen was still very sleepy and hard to wake so we decided to leave for the day. We stoped at Walmart, where I rebought some stuff and "The Dome" book by Stephen King.
  When we got to my Aunt Tina's, we were greeted by her adorable dogs and little black cat. Right away I started to get itchy and breaking out in a rash on my stomach and becoming super itchy everywhere, especially on my neck and face. Now I have never been diagnosed with pet allergies, and I have no problems with my dogs, but I'm pretty sure it was pet related. Its either the long haired dog, or the cat. Anyways we had to take a trip to dollar general so I could buy some benedryl, which made me very sleepy.
  We ate dinner, then way he'd Argo. Which I was so tired from the benedryl that I made it maybe a quarter through the movie before I fell asleep.
  My Aunt Tina has been wonderful accommodating us. Comfy beds and great food. Today I woke up itching and took benedryl again and by 10am I was very tired again. I slept for another 2 hours. Now we are just waiting to head back to UAB to see how Maureen is doing. Hopefully I can blog again tonigjt or tomorrow morning for an update. Missing my little boys on this rainy 4th of July.

Its time to lose...

  On July 1st, 2013, I vowed to myself to lose 50 lbs. Here is why...

 Me in 2008

First of all, I'm at the heaviest I have ever been. Even full term pregnant I was never this heavy. To be honest, I can't believe I let myself gain all this weight. For most of my life,  I have been a very active, healthy eating individual. After the birth of my first son (which I weighed 160 lbs with full term) I lost a TON of weight. I was working really hard, eating healthy, taking 3 mile walks with him in his stroller daily. I got down to 129lbs by fall 2008.  I had lost so much weight, that I became flat chested, no joke. Hence a breast augmentation in Sept 2008. That has to be the thinnest I have ever been as an adult. Well I was 20, I guess you can call it hardly an adult but whatever. I felt great about myself and my body.

me in 2009.

 

 

 

I was the type of girl who ate no fried foods, no sweets, pretty much nothing unhealthy. For years I wrote down everything I put into my mouth, including how many tablespoons of ketchup I used. I usually stuck around 1200-1300 calories a day. Gym was at least every day, sometimes two depending if I had child care. When I would go to work, I worked on the 7th floor and would not allow to use the elevator. In fact I don't think I used it the entire year of 2009. For the most part, I was happy. Hungry, but happy.

 

Something changed when I lost my mom in November of 2009. I fell into the stages of grief, and started not to go to the gym. I just wanted to stay home. Instead of going to the gym everyday, it ended up mostly being like 2-3 times a week, then 1 time a week, the maybe 1 time every other week. I still maintained my eating habits, and maybe even less. So I didn't gain much weight even though I was not working out that much.

 

 

I became pregnant with Dominic in March of 2010. I started out weighing 143 at my first prenatal appt. During the beginning of my pregnancy I had this huge plan about how I wouldn't gain more then 25 lbs. I would continue my exercising, and stay away from unhealthy foods. Well 2009 ended up being an extremely stressful year for me. First of all, I was still dealing with depression of losing one of the most important people of my life. Then in April, we came moments away from losing our father to a sub dermal hematoma. After an emergency craniotomy, our hopes were low that he was going to pull though. When he woke from his coma, our fears seemed to be justified when he kept asking "Where is Becky?, Why is she not here?". We thought we had "lost" our dad. But as a few days passed by, he continually improved. He suffered seizures, memory loss, depression and severe anxiety afterwards that entire summer. It was awful. It was hard to watch someone you love go through all that, and also feeling like I needed to replace my mom in a sense by helping him get better. In fall of 2010, I started training in a new position at the hospital. Something new with a ton of new responsibilities and extra stress. Lets just stop here by saying that I gained a ton of weight with that pregnancy. I shot up to 213 by D day.

 

Me, 3 days before I gave birth to Dominic on November 22, 2010

 

 

After Dominic's birth, the lowest I got to was 175. Then I gained back alot of weight in 2011 due to more stress, and depression, and a knee injury. Yo -yo dieting since then, Im now back up to 210. Which I hate. I feel awful, and this extra weight makes me literally tired all the time. I know its time for a change, not just in how I eat, but the way I look at eating and food. I seriously think I have a carb addiction. What I think is so hard about having a so-called carb/food addiction, is that you can't just walk away from food like you could a drug. You need food, everday to live.

Here are the main reasons I need/want to lose weight...

• I'm at a HUGE risk for heart disease, high blood pressure, and diabetes. I lost my mom to hypertensive heart disease. She had type 2 diabetes and high blood pressure. Her high BP even caused her to have mini strokes, or TIA's in her early 50's. She passed away at age of 56. Her mother passed away when she was in her 50's as well. If I don't change my health now.....I may possible be at midlife at the age of 25. That scares the living f*** out of me. I want a long life. I want to have as much time with my children and grandchildren, and even great grandchildren as possible.
• Having extra weight is exhausting. I use to be so active, now I can barely climb a flight of stairs without having an asthma attack, and I dont even have asthma. I want to keep up with my boys, play soccor with them, climb on playground equipment with them.
• I want to wear cute clothes again! Im not saying there isnt cute clothes for plus size, but I want to feel good in cute clothes. Maybe even wear heels again. Since gaining weight, heels are SO uncomfortable.
• I want to look good for my husband. Of course he tells me all the time Im perfect the way I am, but if I don't feel it, I cant believe it. I know he loves me no matter my pant size, but still. He is a health/workout nut. Standing next to him I look like a jellybean.

So why 50 lbs? Why not shoot for 130?
 I'm shooting for 150-160. At those weights, I felt like I was not starving, but felt like good and healthy. Its nice to have a donut once in a while.
We have been discussing baby # 3. If I'm to get pregnant anytime soon, my goal would be to not gain any weight at all. Being obese, this is perfectly safe and healthy. Here is a study on obesity and weight gain during pregnancy. But we will see. None the less, its time to start eating healthy and move more!!!