Saturday, June 29, 2013

Strengths and fears


  After writing the birth stories about my boys, I have been reflecting on how much I have changed since becoming a mother. I skimmed across this quote earlier, and thought about how perfect! So many strengths. The strength to put everything for your child before anything for you. The strength to sacrifice almost everything for your child....nice clothes, social life, sleep, time with your husband, money. The list is endless. The strength to be patient through the newborn feedings, the teething, the half hour tantrums in the middle of the night. Before I had children, I was a very impatient girl! The strength to laugh at things that usually I would NOT find funny. For example, a few nights ago before bedtime, I took Dominic's diaper off while he was standing up. Not knowing that he pooped, I unsnapped his diaper, and plop goes a huge piece of poop on the carpet. Dominic of course started laughing because I guess when your 2 years old poop is REALLY funny. Even though I was disgusted, I laughed with him because to him it was funny. It was unexpected and silly. Pre-motherhood, i might have hurled. No joke.
  Now onto fears. I can think of so many more fears I have, then strengths. I have fears of who my children will become, who they will hang out with as young adults, their decisions, the women who they will fall in love with. I fear that someday I will lose them. Not physically lose them, of course that is every mothers fear, but lose them as my little boys.
  The fears never crossed my mind before I had children. I always knew I would have children, but not until after they will born and I realized how fast they were growing did these fears become real.
I know I'm not alone in these strengths and fears that motherhood has brought me. I believe these are what makes motherhood so deep. So real. So life changing.
 I wouldnt trade motherhood for a thing in the world.

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